I haven’t written for over a year… it has been one heck of a year! We PCS’d (military code for moved), I started teaching again (wow how God has reminded me He created me to teach), and life got crazy there for awhile (like in the ugly cry kind of way). But here I am, with a beautiful roof over my head, my heart full, my health… well healthy, and my family flourishing.
I wasn’t planning on ever writing here again because I thought maybe that time had passed, people don’t really care what I have to say (at least I have one fan… hi mom!), and well it takes time and I don’t have much of that right now to just sit and write. But after filling my day yesterday watching Notre Dame engulfed in flames, my heart breaking the entire time, I went to bed feeling defeated. When I woke up today I literally jumped out of bed… and if you know me I am NOT a morning person… I rarely ever jump unless Shaun T is telling me to during T20 and that’s only because who wouldn’t do what that man tells you to do?!?! Usually I literally fall out of bed after 30 minutes of convincing myself I don’t have any other choice but to leave my comfy, safe haven from the world to join it. But today was different. I jumped out of bed and grabbed my phone, I wanted to see what the news outlets were reporting on Notre Dame and most importantly what Catholic relics (truly treasures to the world) had been saved. As I scrolled there was almost nothing but reports on this historic church… people cared! I noticed my mom had posted several articles so I began reading those and as I did I had a flood of joy, I mean this feeling of complete joy, crash over my whole being and I began to cry. As I wept, I began to comment on one of my mom’s posts on how a child told their mother that Jesus would use this moment for good… I wrote:
“Yes! Can you believe a Catholic Church was the front and center of every news outlet in the world for hours?! And how people wept and prayed together for Our Lord and Our Lady to pray for us?! And how images of the flames burning through a cross opening, illuminating The Pieta, made headlines everywhere and people were relieved to see our Blessed Mother holding a crucified Christ not just because it is a treasured work of art but because it also symbolized Hope. My heart is so full in the strangest way… and all of this to start off Holy Week… where we as a people welcomed Jesus as a king, then we as a people crucified Him, and then He still loved us… dying for our sins and pleading to His Father to forgive us for we know not what we did. Hopefully the “death” we experienced watching Notre Dame in flames will lead us to watch the “resurrection” of it and our hearts be filled with love for our Father, Son, & the Holy Spirit.”
I kept my comment “as is” because I feel like the joy that encased me in that very moment was from the Holy Spirit and it was the Holy Spirit that put these words in my mind and on my heart. Our Catholic Church has endured so much heartache in all of it’s history but especially in this short time that I have lived and it can really rock your faith to the core. So many questions… so many thoughts…. why is this evil happening… is it safe to bring my children up in the church… why do people have so much hate…? I hope this pain, emptiness, sorrow… all feelings Christ & and Our Blessed Mother felt during the “original” Holy Week will bring hearts and souls back to the church… back into the embrace of Our Lord… just as it did after The Resurrection… we will rebuild and Christ will lead us through it all… and let Notre Dame be the physical symbol of this for the entire world.